Realizing a Dream, Part 1
Where dreams begin and how they progress


Writing a children’s book had been a bucket list of mine among other literary wishlist to-dos (read Harry Potter in Khmer, Spanish, French & Russian, open a book shop, and visit cool bookstores/libraries on my travels). That idea sprouted as I started working in libraries back in 2005, then as with many other people the 2020 pandemic spurred on dream making.
I made a lot of dreams come true for myself back in college - moved away for school, lived in a dorm, studied abroad and got my own apartment. All of these things I did to make myself become an independent adult. Despite fulfilling some of these wishes for myself, after 5 years of college I still didn’t know who I was and where I was headed. Degree. Check. Career. Sort of. Already working in libraries for 5 years at that point, I realized my place was in libraries. After a 3 year stint as a part-time graduate student, I earned my information (and library science) degree. I became a professional librarian. I spent the next 6 years working between public and college libraries.
During this tenure of career soul searching, I always fell back to wanting to learn more of my Khmer heritage. I did this by requesting titles about Cambodia and Khmer Americans through interlibrary loans. These titles included Loung Ung’s “First they Killed my Father..” and Many Ly’s young adult titles. I frequented my college library, borrowing Franklin Huffman’s “Cambodian System of Writing and Beginning Reader” over and over again with the intent to teach myself how to read and write in Khmer.
Fifteen years flew by: college graduate twice over, career moves, marriage and giving birth to my daughter late 2019. I thought I had time. Then 3 months after the birth of my daughter, my pa passed away. His passing was difficult because until the very end, I did not know who he was and was unable to communicate with him beyond basic Khmer. The shame of it is still lingers.
Before I had my daughter, I planned to leave work temporarily for parental leave. When it ended, I knew I wasn’t ready to go back and well, finding work was harder. Between losing my father and getting sick myself, returning to a 9-to-5 wasn’t ideal. I began to reconsider my ideas and dreams.
The idea of writing a book became more of a dream after seeing so many others during the pandemic give themselves more representation in children’s literature. I read Lil Libros’ titles to my infant. I saw the rise of anti-Asian hate and how Asian Americans began to stand up for themselves and show how their voices are diverse as well. I found Bitty Bao and thought to myself I need this for my daughter as well - to give her exposure and share my Khmer heritage in the way of books. It would be a legacy for her to remember.
I proposed the idea of an ABC book to my friend - a graphic designer and illustrator. She thought it would be difficult to connect the ABCs to Khmer words. So, I went off on my own. First, I started with the letter A and it was obvious to me that it should be Apsara - a quintessential Khmer imagery. With my iPad, Adobe Fresco and Canva, I took this momentum and drafted my first ABC book.
(To be continued)